How many of us have felt like a failure as a mom?
Some of you may see all the successes and growth that I celebrate, so I wanted to get real with you today.
I have felt like a failure way more times than I can even count.
Even has recently as this past holiday.
When we become a mom, many of us have this image in our heads of what motherhood should look like. It's usually a combination of what we have seen from our own mother, our friends' mothers, and television/movies.
Motherhood doesn't come with a manual, so where else are we supposed to look for answers, right?
I definitely had a crash course in it, with becoming a mom at 18. That was not in any of my plans. I didn't even know who I was, let alone know how to raise this tiny human.
It was the scariest, yet also the most exciting roller-coaster of my life - with some very high peaks (and I'm terrified of heights by the way)!
I was finally getting to a place where I could confidently say, I did great as a mom. Then my oldest became an adult. That's a whole other ball game ladies!
And here come the holidays, of which we have spent the last 19 of them together, so naturally that's what I expected. That's not what happened.
For reasons I won't get into here, she made the decision to not come down for the holidays. Initially, I felt like a failure as a mom, big time. Like, what did I do or say that caused her to do something like this to our family?
I started to spiral, but because of tools that I have learned over the years, I was able to, eventually, take some time to really analyze deeper at what was going on, and realized, no, I am still a fucking rock-star mom.
She was doing just what I taught her - to take care of herself.. to do what is best for herself.
Her decision about the holidays - was her drawing that line and doing what was best for her at the time, instead of what everyone else thought she should.
So while I thought I was totally failing, I wasn't, but it damn sure felt like it.
Sometimes we have to take a better look.
Mama - I know you want the best for your child/children. That right there, means you are not a failure.
Keep that chin up proud!